I burned some potatoes last night. Well not just burned but let the water boil away when I lost track of time in the shower and got back just in time for Andrew to be taking the pot off the burner and tell me not to do that. Since I didn’t have the energy to cook more potatoes at that point, and wasn’t that hungry, and even part of me felt like I didn’t deserve to eat potatoes for being so careless, I just went to bed and felt kind of bad about myself.

That’s when I realized that if I do get hit by a true depression, it might not be as easy to admit as I was hoping, because I wouldn’t want someone to think it was over something as petty as burning potatoes (which was totally my fault anyway, so let’s stop bringing it up) when that was just the tip of an iceberg I didn’t realize was forming under the surface.

Then I got up this morning and felt bad about myself for the two baskets full of clothes I can’t seem to be bothered to put away. I feel like all of what energy I have is going towards work lately, but even that I know is just an excuse because there’s been weekends and even if I was told to take the day off consequence-free, I know I wouldn’t be jumping to attack those baskets.

Well after all that thinking about it, I had to dig into them a bit, and then got overwhelmed by the whole process of organization. I decided I want to throw out all of our plastic hangers and replace them with thin velvet ones. Closet dividers. Hanging drawers. I spent as much time on Amazon tonight as I did actually putting clothes away. My biggest problem is that I absolutely cannot figure out the proper way to store skirts when they make up the majority of my wardrobe, yet come in so many shapes and sizes and thicknesses and neither want to fold neatly or hang nicely.

Then there’s socks – I have footie socks, boot socks, and fuzzy socks that take up a lot of room, plus a couple pairs of knee-highs that more than overflow a sock drawer and shouldn’t be commingling for the sake of organization to begin with. And underwear – I’ve been thinking a lot about underwear lately. (Do I need maternity underwear? Should I return the ones I bought that seem too small or hope to be smaller myself to be able to wear them someday?) Can I throw out all of my underwear, along with the hangers, and start from scratch?

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