Author Archives: stari

I’ve been reading the book What Fresh Hell Is This?: Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You.  Near the beginning the book was talking about how people compare peri/menopause to ‘reverse puberty’, while also explaining that it’s not exactly that either. … Continue reading →

This is going to sound sad. I promise I’m not sad. But the words came into my head last night and I’m obligated to write them down. In my large mental archive of blog posts to be written, I was … Continue reading →

In the locker room at the Y a girl asked me to help fasten her swimming suit (which I did) and put on her swim cap (which I did). Then she asked me, excitedly, “Do you have a *baby*?” “No, … Continue reading →

Thursday morning, Cameron wanted pancakes for breakfast. I figured I could make him some while waiting for my video appointment to start, but first I had to check how many eggs we had left. Five eggs, enough for any amount … Continue reading →

Seriously, body? My period is due, oh about now, and instead I get fertile signs and a positive ovulation test.

The last doctor – the one I had an appointment with to find why I wasn’t getting pregnant when it turns out I was already pregnant, but failed to stay pregnant – ultimately referred me onto another specialist right away. … Continue reading →

Future Hypothetical Second Baby’s code name is now officially ‘Cameron II’.

Having dealt with depression doesn’t make it any easier to talk to someone else who’s depressed. If anything it’s harder because I already know all of the usual platitudes are worthless, leaving nothing to say at all. I am also … Continue reading →

So ‘mom ears’ are definitely a thing. I didn’t wake up to Andrew’s alarm clock yesterday morning, didn’t even realize it had gone off. I didn’t wake up to him getting out of bed. I did instead wake up to … Continue reading →

I realized yesterday my anxiety about Cameron’s surgery has become an official issue, the kind that would benefit from professional help, if the whole thing wasn’t going to be over sooner than I would be able to make an appointment. … Continue reading →