The last doctor – the one I had an appointment with to find why I wasn’t getting pregnant when it turns out I was already pregnant, but failed to stay pregnant – ultimately referred me onto another specialist right away. I put off making that appointment because the web site was pretty intimidating, talking about IVF when I haven’t so much as had someone do blood tests and make sure my hormone levels are in check and other things – I don’t know what things but I know there are things to be checked before making that kind of leap. But I eventually set up the phone consultation and found out that we’re on the same page about checking “things” as the first step. I don’t know what the second step is since I’ve always seen it as an either/or – either I get pregnant and we have another baby or I can’t get pregnant at all.

We have an appointment next week. “We” because she prefers to see both of a couple. I like her style and that she plans to do all the things in one big appointment, including a sperm analysis for Andrew and ultrasound for me, because no one has time to come in over and over. The email originally had the wrong date and I’m glad that got that figured out when Andrew had to call about his part, because showing up on the wrong day would have been even more awkward than showing up already pregnant.

So, this is my last chance to have an “oops, guess we don’t need that appointment after all”. I’ve been amazed at my patience this time since I usually can’t help testing early but this time around I managed to wait until this morning to find out that I’m still not pregnant.

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