I had to drag myself to the gym twice last week. It felt like a chore, or an errand, something that could (or even should) be put off until tomorrow. Of course after I went I felt better, or at least better about myself. Then I spent a day working myself up to going this week before remembering that the community center is closed until the 8th. Unfortunately this means I’ve not gotten any exercise because I just don’t feel motivated to claim the TV and DDR or whatnot after work, except for baking cookies which apparently burns 150 calories an hour.

The first day last week, I was on the elliptical facing myself in the mirror and I saw an image of ‘the fat girl at the gym’. At least the fat girl is at the gym, right? But I’m pretty sure if I could have shown that image to my teenage self I would have become anorexic or something.

In contrast, I am really enjoying seeing shape and firmness come to my arms and shoulders.

Last week I found out my boss called us all fat. Friday afternoon the few of us left in the office were sitting around talking because they didn’t feel like working. Talk turned to the boss and our accounting person told us he was questioning a credit card charge for an office birthday cake and said, “You guys don’t need that anyway, you’re all fat.”

I’m not supposed to tell him that I know this.

Makes me want to eat a brownie in his face.

Baking is one thing that seems to be relaxing me and making me forget about the days going crazy at work right now. Andrew suggested it might be my replacement mood stabilizer.