{"id":862,"date":"2014-06-04T09:02:09","date_gmt":"2014-06-04T09:02:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.whimsicallycrazy.com\/?p=862"},"modified":"2014-06-04T09:05:22","modified_gmt":"2014-06-04T09:05:22","slug":"the-tragedy-of-my-boobs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.whimsicallycrazy.com\/?p=862","title":{"rendered":"The tragedy… of my boobs."},"content":{"rendered":"

Lately Cameron has been wanting to grab my nipple while nursing. Not the other nipple, like I read being common, but the same<\/em> nipple. This is a problem for a couple reasons, besides the logistics involved. For one, there’s his razor sharp claws… er… fingernails.<\/p>\n

He’s also doing the pulling-off-without-unlatching thing again. Or not necessarily off<\/em> but just straight up pulling. Hard. Hard enough to make me yell out in pain at one point, which made him laugh. (I know he doesn’t understand, but I do with my baby didn’t laugh at the fact that he caused me pain.) I remember this one because I set him on the floor afterwards, deciding it was time to start enforcing the ‘if you hurt mommy we stop for a bit’ rule in preparation for future biting.<\/p>\n

It was some combination of those that I assume is responsible for the raw spot on my nipple I noticed while preparing to shower. I should put some lanolin on that, I thought, it might not help but it certainly won’t hurt.<\/p>\n

Examining my nipple was what led me to notice the network of blue veins clearly visible on my boobs. (I know, that’s a pleasant visual for you, isn’t it?) But it’s not just<\/em> my boobs, but all the way up the top of my chest, and across to my shoulders, making me look like a walking circulatory model. I wondered if there’s anything that could be done about that. Tanning, I guess, so no. Apparently I’m pale enough to be functionally transparent.<\/p>\n

While marveling at my personal freak show I waited for a couple red scratch marks on the right side to die down so I could survey fully. These are the kind of marks left from scratching yourself so absentmindedly that it’s plausible to not remember if you had actually done so or not a mere second ago. I tried to remember, because they didn’t die down, and along with examining the surrounding skin I realized… are those stretch marks!?<\/em><\/p>\n

Fledgling, baby stretch marks. I forgot they start out red. I think my prednisone stretch marks started out looking-like-I’ve-been-ripped-apart silver\/white. I’ve finally gotten over my prednisone marks, and I know a wrinkly, stomach is a motherhood badge of honor, but somehow I thought my boobs would be spared. Especially seven months out. My one (previously) perfect body part. <\/p>\n

My fan club will be disappointed, I thought. Yes my breasts once had a fan club, many years ago but I’ve assumed it still exists, if dormant. With Cameron’s existence, I’ve joked that it has a new member. So he’s the reason I’m letting them be “ruined”, I remember. That’s supposed to make it okay, but I still don’t like it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lately Cameron has been wanting to grab my nipple while nursing. Not the other nipple, like I read being common, but the same nipple. This is a problem for a couple reasons, besides the logistics involved. For one, there’s his … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-862","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.whimsicallycrazy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/862","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.whimsicallycrazy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.whimsicallycrazy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.whimsicallycrazy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.whimsicallycrazy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=862"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.whimsicallycrazy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/862\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":866,"href":"https:\/\/www.whimsicallycrazy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/862\/revisions\/866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.whimsicallycrazy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=862"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.whimsicallycrazy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=862"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.whimsicallycrazy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=862"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}